I have been writing a little on this blog about how I have recently (the last few months) have been attending the LDS church again. At first, I did it for my kids, so they could learn the values that the LDS church teaches, mostly because I think it lays a great foundation in which to build your life around. I did not have the desire at first to gain anything from it for myself, I still had a few negative feelings regarding things I remember from years ago when I use to attend church often.
I went a few times, I saw how much my kids really loved it. They made friends, Kai was telling me what he learned and he just loves learning things about Jesus and baptism, it leaves him hungry for more. Ashtyn loves wearing her pretty dress to church and show everyone, she loves to sing the songs and make new friends. I could not take that away from them, ever.
I then started taking the missionary lessons, I have been baptized into the church when I was 8 years old, but I still wanted to talk to the missionaries. I am so glad I did, I learned that many things I questioned about the church were misunderstandings on my part because I was barely a teenager when I stopped going.
I now have a growing desire in my heart to keep attending and I am always at peace when I am there and when I am searching through the scriptures.
Ever since I started going, I have noticed that there have been some hard times and very harsh words said to me and about me that attack my character. I usually let this kind of thing consume me and I get sick to my stomach if I feel that someone is angry with me. I was told to pray about this, I did. I prayed a lot. I cannot deny how my feelings changed. I am still somewhat discouraged by things that were said, I am only human, but I am not letting it consume me and I feel at peace knowing there is nothing I can do about how someone else feels about me, I cannot change it.
This is a big step for me and I KNOW that opening my heart to the gospel has allowed me to do this. I know this sounds so cheesy and cliche, but it is how I feel.
I know there are still going to be many bumps along the road and I have a long way to go, but I know I am not the only one struggling. It's just so refreshing to feel so peaceful and know that I am on the right track.
6 comments:
That's great! Thanks for sharing. You know I've always been actively attending church, but still have days that I go mainly because I know it's good for my kids. Then of course after I get there I'm always touched in one way or another and glad I stick to it. I'm happy to get to know you better and when we get back into town we'll have a play date. BTW my blog is hartmanandemily.blogspot.com
Emily
I loved this post! The gospel is pretty awesome huh?! And if Ben gets the job, it will be nice to know another police wife in the ward!
Thanks for sharing. We love having you around more and being with your little ones.
Alicia
Good for you! It is a great feeling, huh?!
That is so awesome Kylie! Way to be open to change and challenges! I forgot that you stopped going to church while we were teenagers, but I am so happy that you are finding the peace that can be found in attending and participating again. I don't know what the misunderstandings were, but am glad that you have been open to finding out if they were legitimate or not. You're still the tuff girl I knew in High School:)
That is so neat. I hope you find that it is the right path for you to take.
I was 22 when I was at the same point you are now. Trying to decide if that is the direction I needed to go. In my experience, that was probably one of the most spiritual times in my life although there were plenty of things trying to pull me back away. Having lived so long without the church and then the complete 180 I did and now having the church in my life and being able to feel the huge difference it can make. It was amazing. And now as I am about 7 years into it, I feel the spirit all the time but not as strong as it was when it was first back in my life but I am so glad it is there. For me, I don't know where I would be without it.
So just keep plugging along and let us all know how it goes. :) Either way, wherever life takes you, we still think you are great!
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