Incredible blessings come from tragic events.....

I am a firm believer that from tragic events, profound blessings can follow, if we have faith.

It is no secret that I've been struggling lately. With all that has happened in the past few months, I have felt out-of-sorts and stressed out. I have started this new job and I know it is right for me, but the feelings of complete confusion and feeling overwhelmed are just part of the process. Today, I completely messed up on my first day of working. To make matters worse, Tyson and I have had our little struggles too. We, sometimes, grow a little distant. I know is normal, However, I miss him terribly when this happens.

Today was a difficult day for many reasons. I was emotional and I was thinking about how I haven't attended the temple recently and I need to regularly if I want to set the example to get Tyson on board to someday be sealed to me and the kids in the temple. I shared my concerns with a dear friend, Kirsty. She is a wonderful friend of mine, a timeless friend that I cherish. I left her house feeling better that I had opened my heart to her. I went home and a few hours later, I was in tears. I called Kirsty and her husband answered and immediately I felt a prompting to ask him for a blessing. He is a sweetheart and told me to come right over (it was 9:30 PM!)

I went over, Kirsty, Ryan and I chatted about what I needed in a blessing. Ryan gave me one of the sweetest, most memorable blessings, and I really needed it. I hope they both know how much I needed that and am beyond thankful for them in my life. With faith and perseverence, things are going to be BETTER than okay for me and my family. I TRULY LOVE THE GOSPEL.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Mom,

Today, you would be 54 years old. Wow. You old woman you:) Don't worry, you don't look a day older than 39.:) I miss you and have been thinking about you a lot and I feel like you are proud with the decisions I have made lately.

The kids are amazing. Kai is a little man and he has such a kind and loving heart. He is a little freckle-face just like me. He does very well in school, he is smart, like you.

Ashtyn is connected to you. Are you her guardian angel?? She talks about you ALL OF THE TIME. Every time someone mentions heaven, Ashtyn will say, "My grandma is in heaven, I miss her." You must've really bonded with her while helping her prepare for her life with me here on Earth. Thank you, you've done an amazing job.

I am proud to be your daughter. I love you so much and have been blesses enough to learn so many wonderful things from the example you set for me. I have faith that I will see you again and I can't wait for the reunion.

XOXO
Your loving and devoted daughter,
Ky

Relationships............

A friend of mine use to joke that he could paint a face on a broom and I would make friends with it. I have always been a very outgoing person. People interest me. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people and learning new things about the world and I am genuinely interested in what they tell me.

Over the years, I have learned A LOT of valuable lessons by interacting with different people, some lessons are positive ones, and some, well, lets just say they aren't so positive. Either way, I learn something. With some of my experiences with people, I make a connection with them and I start really caring about their well-being. Recently, this has been the case.

You all know the story of Patrick. I am still very close with the family, his boys (my boys:) are doing pretty well and adjusting the best that they can. We will be in each others lives forever now, and for that, I am thankful.

There has been someone else. Charles, aka, Mr. C, aka, Ashtyn's schoolbus driver.
Mr. C was a very nice and laid back 26 year old. Every day, he would park his bus at the stop and wait for Ashtyn and I. Most of the time, WE were waiting for him and he would pull up with a big grin on his face and say, "Sorry Ma'am, I slept in." It was SO funny because it happened more often than not. I never cared, he was so polite, he refused to call me Kylie because he thought it wasn't respectful enough. When he did show up early, we would sit there and chat. He would tell me about his little boy that lived out of state and he had recently came to Vegas to visit him. He told me all about that and his face would just light up when he talked about his son. Mr. C was a nice guy who Ashtyn adored and I was fond of.

Monday, someone else drove the bus to pick Ashtyn up. He was nice enough, I teased him about his Chicago Bears hat. I didn't ask about Mr. C, but something bothered me about him not being there. When Ashtyn got home from school, there was a letter addressed to "The parents of Ashtyn Schrader" inside it said that Mr. C had passed away on Saturday and to tell our children about it before they heard it from someone else. There was a number for a grief counselor if needed. My heart sank when I read this. we had just lost a dear friend on Christmas Eve at a young age and now Mr. C who was only 26 years old had passed away.

I was really disturbed about his young age and I wanted to know what happened. I decided to go online and type in his name. I wished I hadn't. The first story was a shooting that had happened in Vegas over the weekend, near my home. This is what the article said: Mr. C had been taking out the trash with his girlfriend and was confronted by two men and shot to death. His girlfriend survived, but he hadn't.

I wished I hadn't looked because it made it so much worse to know that he died in such a violent way. (I apologize for the sad story, but I swear I have a point)

Tyson and I sat Ashtyn down and told her that Mr. C had died and gone to heaven. We had to explain it the best way we could without confusing her. Ashtyn had two very important questions for us, with a very sad face and countenance, the first question was, "Mr. C went to heaven to be with Patrick and grandma?" and we said, yes, he is up there with Patrick and Grandma. Then she said, "Why is everyone going to heaven now? Are YOU going to go to heaven now?" I told her that everyone ends up in heaven where we came from and that although Patrick and grandma and Mr. C didn't choose to go there now, that God had other plans for them and they were needed there. Although she was sad about this, she went on with the rest of her day as usual.

I am writing this for three reasons. The first reason is that it is very therapeutic for me to write things like this. I do not write for the sake of the reader, I write for MY own comfort, that said, I hope that the reader can get to know me or learn something from what I write.
The second reason is that i think it is SO important to make these small connections with people, even when something tragic happens, I am still glad I knew Mr. C in some way and I am happy he touched mine and my daughters life while he was here. I want to give the message out to tell your family and friends you LOVE them. NO MATTER WHAT, make sure that everyone you love, KNOWS that you love them.

Last, but NOT least, I am writing this post to ask you out there what I should tell my daughter about ME going to heaven? My mother died when I was her age and with the deaths of Patrick and Mr. C, who both played a significant role in her life, I am not sure what to tell her when she asks me if I will go to heaven soon? I don't want it to shape her life and cause her any problems if I say I will go when God needs me. I am not sure if this is the time to lie, and say, "no baby, mommy is here for you so dont worry." I have been praying about it even. Please comment if you have some sound advice for me.

I promise the next post will be positive.

Thanks for letting me bare my soul. XOXO- Kylie

Happy 6 YEARS!!

JANUARY 8th marked my 6 year wedding anniversary with the Mister. We have already been through a lot together and have had many ups and downs, as does everyone else.... It's the way we get through the "downs" that make our relationship the way it is. He is the only person I would want to go through everything with. Here is what I have learned these last 6 years.....

Tyson will ALWAYS play World of Warcraft and there is NOTHING I can do about it...(grr) ;)
Tyson can make me laugh no matter how mad I get at him...
Tyson had the cutest shy smile..
Tyson is a lot stronger than he looks...
Tyson is THE most loyal human being I have ever known..

There is SO much more, these are just the basics, I don;t want to bore anyone:)

Happy Anniversary, and here is to MANY, MANY more!!

2011 word to live by.............

I cannot believe it has been a year and now it's time to pick a new word to live by. Last year it was, Love. I can honestly say that I had A LOT of love last year. 2010 was a wonderful year for my family. Kai was baptized, I was given my Patriarchal blessing and later went to the temple. Tyson was promoted at work. Ashtyn started Kindergarten and had a surgery at the end of the year. WOW.

This year, the word to live by is, FAITH. With faith, everything is possible... With LOVE everything is easy. Life requires us to have faith frequently. I believe that practice makes perfect, the more we practice our faith in things, in God, in each other, the easier it feels to have faith and show others to be faithful.

I am excited for 2011 and all that it brings, just have a little faith.....

Happy Stuff....

Despite the tragedy that took place next door, our Christmas was a good one. One reason is because we really were extra loving towards one another, knowing that any minute, one of us could be gone. Another reason is...................................................................................


I GOT MY BIKE!!!! Tyson put it together himself and I LOVE IT!! It is a Panama Jack Beach Cruiser and it is so fun to ride around with the kids on!! It has a bottle opener on the side of the wheel, a cup holder, a cool bag that attaches to it, and a bar in the back that my kids can actually sit on and I can ride them around on. It is the BEST Christmas present ever!! I have been begging for one for months, back in July we were going to buy it so I had it for the summer, but it was Tyson and Ashtyn's birthdays coming up and we had a trip planned, I decided it was NOT the right time to be spending money on myself. It was worth the wait! I LOVE IT~!~

Tyson actually received his gifts early. One if which was the new World of Warcraft Expansion that came out on December 6Th at midnight, I waited in line for an hour with a bunch of geeks that live in their mothers' basement (sorry babe;) Anyway, he had to have it right away, so that was one gift. His OTHER gift were tickets to the Vegas Bowl since the UTES and Boise State were playing here, Tyson's BFF, Oggie, was able to find him a ticket. Oggie didn't even end up charging Tyson for it, so cool for me! :) He also got some cool Led Zeppelin shirts (I get them every year) and a Pink Floyd water bottle (its a cool one)


Ashtyn got her much anticipated DRAGON FORTRESS!!! This thing is actually AWESOME! Tyson and I were playing with it because it was so cool. The funny thing is, all of Ashtyn's other things were super girly, then there is this boy toy Dragon Fortress. LOL, she also got TONS a Littlest Pet Shop animals, to which she calls them "Pechups"
so cute. She loved her stuff.



Kai received A LOT of books. Apparently, Santa wants him to read more often. He also got some Beyblade battle stuff, some socks, some cards, some clothes, 2 remote control cars. He was happy with the Beyblade because we told him if Santa couldn't afford a PSP GO like he wanted, Santa would get him a Beyblade. Kai quietly and happily played with his toys until after all of the presents were gone. There was a big box left and it didn't have anybody's name on it, so we acted all nonchalant and told Kai he could just unwrap it to see what it was. It was a box wrapped in a box, wrapped in a smaller box, well, you get the idea.....



We had a nice little Christmas Morning, then we took the kids out to play and here are the pics of the rest of our week spent with Elliott and Sebastian....











I wish you all a very happy and family-filled 2011!!!!

Not goodbye.....see ya later!!

Today, Elliott and Sebastian moved away. They were originally going to leave in three weeks, but the family decided not to delay and took the kids to their new home in Minnesota with their Aunt and Uncle and 4 cousins. The decision was so last-minute, that when they told me last night, I got VERY emotional and had to go home and take a minute to myself.

I cried really, really hard because I have become so very close to those boys and I have cared for them in the hardest trial in their little lives. I decided to stop thinking selfishly and get it together for the boys' sake. Their Aunt, who I have gotten to know over the past week, is a very good mother and her husband is wonderful as well. The boys will flourish there, I just know they will and I am extremely happy for them that they have such a bright future ahead of them in such a loving home.

I prayed very hard for the boys to feel comforted and for me to know what to do and say to them and how to handle the delicate situation. God answered my prayers and I know in my heart that this experience was a huge blessing for everyone involved. I was able to give service to that family, and the same time, they gave me a huge service by adding so much MORE love to my home by just being who they are. I feel at peace with the way things are going and I feel extremely grateful to have known them and to have made lifelong friends with their family, although the even that took place was tragic, the result was filled with love and new relationships. I will never forget this experience and will carry those boys in my heart. What a way to end the year, with an experience filled with my word of the year, LOVE.