Ashtyn Rose........

Time goes by so fast. I just cannot believe how fast. When I was younger, I could not wait to grow up. My parents would always tell me that when I was older I would cherish my young years and wish time would move slower, as opposed to faster. Boy, were they right!

July 18, 2005, Ashtyn Rose was born into this world and we had NO idea what was ahead of us!! Ashtyn was one of those babies that we had to drive around town for hours to get to sleep. Daddy was off for 5 weeks for paternity leave and she attached to him so fast. Seeing him with her melted me, and still does. They formed a close bond very quickly.

Ashtyn and I, well, that took some time. I know, I know, worst parent of the year award! It was just difficult for me to ease up because I was terrified that I wouldn't be as good of a mom to Ashtyn as I was to Kai since Kai is a boy and I get along WAY better with boys. Women, well, throughout my life previously, I was always hurt by women, therefore, I would push them away and never trust them.

Today, My dear, beautiful, sweet, funny, and unforgettable baby girl, Ashtyn is my little shadow. She and I share a bond so close and so fun, I never imagined I could be here, in this kind of fun-loving relationship with her, a little woman... MY little woman.

I wrote all of that to set up this letter that I wrote for Ashtyn. Here it is;

My Dearest Little Turd Burger,

You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. You have changed my life forever and taught me some precious lessons in life. I love our playful relationship and I just love giving you kisses and squeezing and pinching that adorable little ghetto booty of yours!! You have brought so much joy and laughter to our home and have brought Daddy and I closer. I've never met a child as fun and animated as you are!

You are quite the little flirt. We even brought you with us to the famous pawn shop from the show "Pawn Stars" and those guys all got a kick out of you! You can bring a smile to any grumpy old mans face! They loved you and asked for us to bring you back to entertain them! That is just the kind of fun personality you have!

You are the jewel of Kai's life and he protects you and loves you and dotes on you. You both argue and fight with each other, but at the end of the day, you wouldn't have it any other way and you are precious together. You have your best friend in Kai and I am blessed to have you both as my precious children.

Daddy is infatuated with you. You know that if Mommy won't do it, Daddy will. Mommy spoils you too, but it's Daddy that melts every time you look at him.

Ashtyn, you are destined for amazing and wonderful things. Always remember that you are a child of God and that he loves you as Daddy and I love you. I love you so much stinky butt and will always be here and be your cheerleader throughout life. I love you my gorgeous girl!!

Love, Mommy XoXo

Highs....... and Lows

I have not been in the mood for blogging lately. I've had many ups and downs recently and I want to talk all about it. Here it goes....

June 24th we drove the family to Salt Lake to visit for a week and to visit the temple for the FIRST TIME! My in-laws home is my second home and they had visitors. My grandparents, Grandma and Grandpa Curtis (they are actually Tysons grandparents, but they've adopted me as their own) and Aunt Sharon (same thing). They are the most wonderful people and it was so fun spending time with them!

June 25th was my night!! I was escorted to the temple by Grandma Schrader (whom I've also adopted as my own:) and it was a wonderful experience. She was lovely to have as my escort. So many people showed up to support me and I was humbled by the experience and the love. Although I cannot go into detail about my experience because we believe it is SACRED. I will say that it's comical that people spread rumors that we are naked in the temple when we are wearing plenty of clothing!! LOL

I got a call at 2 AM from my cousin Rochelle saying my Uncle Craig was in a terrible motorcycle accident and that they said we should "gather the family". I spent the last few days of my visit to Utah driving back and forth to Provo to spend time with my Auntie and Craig. Although it is a tragic thing, I was grateful to be in town and be able to see him and talk to him briefly. He is making progress and I now have feelings of peace in knowing he will eventually make a full recovery even though he remains in the ICU.

We had a wonderful time with my sister and brother-in-laws, the grandparents and lovely friends. It was one of the best visits to Utah we've had. I was sad to leave my uncle and to leave the family and beautiful Utah landscape that I will forever be so fond of. On our way home we stopped by the Indian reservation and picked up some "fun" fireworks and 4th of July was a BLAST, literally. :)

July 9th I was invited to an Elvis wedding. It was so fun and fir the bride and groom perfectly (thanks Asesis!) I noticed my ex had been calling through the day, but I was too busy to answer the phone.

Later that evening, I read a post on my Facebook saying how sorry this person was for my loss of Justin. I did not know what was going on and it was 1 AM. I soon found out that my friend who is very close to Jeremiah (my ex) and who I was once very close friends with, had decided to end his life. I was and still am heartbroken, and confused, and angry at him for the selfish act, and deeply sad that he felt so alone.



Justin Bryce Terry was a happy and fun guy. He always had a huge smile on his face and treated everyone as if you were his very best friend. He was adventurous and fun and happy. I mean, I am so confused. The last conversation I had with him was different than any other conversation I've had with him. It was about 2 months ago and he messaged me on Facebook saying he was upset with some things going on in his life. I told him I was here for him to talk to anytime he felt upset. I never heard back from him. He has two beautiful children and a lovely wife who I have known since high school. My heart aches for his family. I pray for them to find peace and comfort through this hard time. His funeral is tomorrow and I cannot make it to Utah for it, although I will be thinking of his family and friends and praying for them.

It just shows how fleeting life is, and how we should always hug our loved ones and express our love and gratitude to all of the people in our lives. Get in touch with old friends, tell everyone how you appreciate all they do. Make good and everlasting memories. God is good.

Family....

**Updates**

My cousin, Rochelle, updates her blog frequently about my uncle Craig. If you ever want to read about his progress, go HERE....

The family appreciates all of the love and prayers and support they are receiving from family and friends and even strangers!! Love you all!