Relationships............

A friend of mine use to joke that he could paint a face on a broom and I would make friends with it. I have always been a very outgoing person. People interest me. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people and learning new things about the world and I am genuinely interested in what they tell me.

Over the years, I have learned A LOT of valuable lessons by interacting with different people, some lessons are positive ones, and some, well, lets just say they aren't so positive. Either way, I learn something. With some of my experiences with people, I make a connection with them and I start really caring about their well-being. Recently, this has been the case.

You all know the story of Patrick. I am still very close with the family, his boys (my boys:) are doing pretty well and adjusting the best that they can. We will be in each others lives forever now, and for that, I am thankful.

There has been someone else. Charles, aka, Mr. C, aka, Ashtyn's schoolbus driver.
Mr. C was a very nice and laid back 26 year old. Every day, he would park his bus at the stop and wait for Ashtyn and I. Most of the time, WE were waiting for him and he would pull up with a big grin on his face and say, "Sorry Ma'am, I slept in." It was SO funny because it happened more often than not. I never cared, he was so polite, he refused to call me Kylie because he thought it wasn't respectful enough. When he did show up early, we would sit there and chat. He would tell me about his little boy that lived out of state and he had recently came to Vegas to visit him. He told me all about that and his face would just light up when he talked about his son. Mr. C was a nice guy who Ashtyn adored and I was fond of.

Monday, someone else drove the bus to pick Ashtyn up. He was nice enough, I teased him about his Chicago Bears hat. I didn't ask about Mr. C, but something bothered me about him not being there. When Ashtyn got home from school, there was a letter addressed to "The parents of Ashtyn Schrader" inside it said that Mr. C had passed away on Saturday and to tell our children about it before they heard it from someone else. There was a number for a grief counselor if needed. My heart sank when I read this. we had just lost a dear friend on Christmas Eve at a young age and now Mr. C who was only 26 years old had passed away.

I was really disturbed about his young age and I wanted to know what happened. I decided to go online and type in his name. I wished I hadn't. The first story was a shooting that had happened in Vegas over the weekend, near my home. This is what the article said: Mr. C had been taking out the trash with his girlfriend and was confronted by two men and shot to death. His girlfriend survived, but he hadn't.

I wished I hadn't looked because it made it so much worse to know that he died in such a violent way. (I apologize for the sad story, but I swear I have a point)

Tyson and I sat Ashtyn down and told her that Mr. C had died and gone to heaven. We had to explain it the best way we could without confusing her. Ashtyn had two very important questions for us, with a very sad face and countenance, the first question was, "Mr. C went to heaven to be with Patrick and grandma?" and we said, yes, he is up there with Patrick and Grandma. Then she said, "Why is everyone going to heaven now? Are YOU going to go to heaven now?" I told her that everyone ends up in heaven where we came from and that although Patrick and grandma and Mr. C didn't choose to go there now, that God had other plans for them and they were needed there. Although she was sad about this, she went on with the rest of her day as usual.

I am writing this for three reasons. The first reason is that it is very therapeutic for me to write things like this. I do not write for the sake of the reader, I write for MY own comfort, that said, I hope that the reader can get to know me or learn something from what I write.
The second reason is that i think it is SO important to make these small connections with people, even when something tragic happens, I am still glad I knew Mr. C in some way and I am happy he touched mine and my daughters life while he was here. I want to give the message out to tell your family and friends you LOVE them. NO MATTER WHAT, make sure that everyone you love, KNOWS that you love them.

Last, but NOT least, I am writing this post to ask you out there what I should tell my daughter about ME going to heaven? My mother died when I was her age and with the deaths of Patrick and Mr. C, who both played a significant role in her life, I am not sure what to tell her when she asks me if I will go to heaven soon? I don't want it to shape her life and cause her any problems if I say I will go when God needs me. I am not sure if this is the time to lie, and say, "no baby, mommy is here for you so dont worry." I have been praying about it even. Please comment if you have some sound advice for me.

I promise the next post will be positive.

Thanks for letting me bare my soul. XOXO- Kylie