This is a bit of a "venting" post. I will write about our awesome New Years Eve in a completely different post. Something happened with someone recently who I thought was my friend. This has actually inspired me to have a few resolutions this year regarding my relationships with people.
I befriended someone because their child became close with Kai, it was a bad idea from the start to try to be friends with her. And I TRIED so hard, for months I ignored HUGE red flags that I knew were warning signs. In the end, all of my feelings (and Tyson's feelings) were true and we found out through and through that these people were VERY BAD PEOPLE. Wolves in sheep's clothing. I am just frustrated because I feel so bad for their kids. Kai doesn't know anything about it and is still good friends with their son, but its so sad that these poor innocent kids are being raised in this unhealthy home.
I am the type of person that can make friends very easily, but I have a hard time really investing and really putting my all into my relationships. I have a theory about this, I tend to make the WRONG friends. I am not sure what it is about my personality or maybe even my standards, I meet and befriend people that really aren't the best members of society (not all of them of course) I just feel that everyone deserves a second chance and I go against all of my better judgement, this always blows up in my face. It also makes it hard for me to keep the good relationships I have with friends, its like I am so jaded by the bad ones, that I sabotage the good ones. Make sense?
Well, this is something that I am really going to work on this year and from now on. I am really going to nurture and value the good relationships I have and the great, positive people I have in my life right now. Tyson is my number one and he really is the only one I have really let myself open up to and not try to completely push away. I love him for being so great to me and treating me with nothing but absolute and total respect and love. We celebrate our 5 year anniversary on Friday. woo hoo! Another relationship I am going to try harder on is with my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws. They are very good and loving people that really are my family in many ways. My in-laws have done so much for me and have treated me as their own daughter and I haven't always acted appreciative and loving like I should, to say the least. They are the best things that have happened to me in my life along with Tyson and my children. I may not have good biological parents because my mother passed away when I was four and I have had 4 step-mothers since then who were all horrible and my dad is a drug-addict and feels more like having a troubled son than a father. I consider my in-laws my parents and I know so many people that do not get the opportunity to have that.
And last but certainly not least, I cannot write about this without mentioning my relationship with my cousin, Rochelle. We got back in touch about a year or so ago and I can (and do) confide in her with everything. I trust her and love her with all of my heart and I respect her opinion immensely. I feel so completely comfortable with her, that our relationship doesn't feel like "work", and, unfortunately, that is not a normal feeling for me. She is one of the only people that can tell me the absolute truth about anything from my attitude to the clothes on my back and I so not get upset with her. I am so very grateful for the rare relationship I have with her and I don't know how I would have gotten through a lot of hard times this year without her. I love you Shelly.:)
So, I started out this post on a sour note, but am finishing on a good one. I think friends are so important to have, but family is the most important. At least the bad experience I had with the "friend" opened my eyes to what I need to look for and what I need to work on to have trustworthy, and positive people in my life. Thanks for letting me vent, as if you had a choice.:)
It's MY blog and I'll brag if I want to!!
3 comments:
Kylie, it's starts with recognizing it! You've had very few examples of healthy relationships in your life and it's going to take retraining. You're on the right road, hang in there! I love you!
Kylie, Rochelle is so right about you not having had the good examples. I have been so very proud of you and your growth the last few months. You said something to Michelle and I on Christmas Eve about us forgiving you but it works both ways and you also have been forgiving. I am so grateful that things have been so good with all of the family and that's what you are, family. I think that has been the biggist problem is that you have a hard time beleiving people love you and that we wanted to accept you into our family. Your post actually made me cry, and this Christmas was the best one of my whole life because everyone loved each other. I think you finally believe that you are part of this family and if you start pulling away again I guess that I will have to get a rope and lasso you back in. Hehe. I do love you and so does everyone else. I am so glad that you have Rochelle in your life. We all need people like that. We also all need to work hard not to offend or let ourselves be offended. Kylie, you are a special daughter of our Heavenly Father. He loves you so much. We are in each others lives for a reason and that is to help each other and to teach each other. I am so far from perfect that it's not funny but I am trying to be a better person and we can all be with help from above. You have beautiful children and a good husband, you need to feel that you are deserving of those and many other blessings. Sorry this is so long. I should have just called. Love you.
Val,
I am so grateful for your sweet comments, they really mean a lot to me. I honestly never looked at the situation as if I was pushing you away, I always felt the opposite, but now I see that it is true and I am going to work really hard to recognize when I am doing it and stop myself. I love you very much and I appreciate your understanding and love. Love you so much:)
Post a Comment